New Review!!!

The following reviews are by the Super Mommy. A regular contributor to this blog!

Babylon AD
Since he first stole the show in Boiler Room, I’ve believed Vin Diesel was like pizza. Even “bad” Vin was “good” Vin. Until I saw Babylon AD, that is. Vin, baby, WHAT were you thinking?

OK, in all fairness, the sorry state of this movie probably isn’t Vin’s fault. Not totally, at least. I think blame more fully falls on whoever produced this mess and felt they could do it without the benefit of a screenwriter. That’s really the only explanation I can come up with for the near-total lack of discernable, trackable plot.

In theory, the film trails Diesel’s character, Toorop (no one ever explains the weird name, but then so much goes unexplained in this flick) a mercenary for hire who is inexplicably living in Russia in the near future. Russian mobster Gorsky (French film legend Gerard Depardieu) hires Toorop to smuggle a just-post-pubescent girl (Melanie Thierry) and her guardian (Michelle Yeoh) from their convent in the frozen north to New York City. No, it’s never explained what Gorsky’s interest is in all this. Are you seeing a pattern here? Along the way, there are a few explosions, a lot of dead bodies killed in singularly uncreative ways, a submarine, a female super preacher who looks a lot like George W. Bush in drag, artificial intelligence, and not one, but two (count ‘em – TWO) immaculate conceptions.

If that all seems confusing and aimless when you read it here … well, it looks that way on the screen too. The movie limps along for the first hour, and then it’s as if the writer and director realized they had just another 30 minutes to play with and they were frantic to wrap up the story, even if the ending made no sense at all. What little plot there is just falls apart and the last 30 minutes are confusing snippets of storyline that just don’t follow sensible from the 60 minutes that preceded them.

Babylon AD is 90 minutes of missed opportunities, huge plot holes and wasted performances by otherwise good actors. Going back to my original pizza analogy, this is a big, greasy slice of stupid and not even Vin can make it worth sitting through.

Rating: M (and only because Vin is in it)

Vin that’s Worth Watching – on DVD

Vin Diesel is probably one of his generation’s most under-rated, poorly type-cast actors. Here are a few gems that will remind you that Vin’s not just a great action star, he’s a great actor as well:

Pitch Black
Pitch Black is just pitch-perfect in every way, from the CGI aliens who are creepy as heck, to the creative story of a band of travelers stranded on a planet about to plunge into eternal night, to Diesel’s stellar performance as Riddick Bowe. Not only are there great supporting cast performances (Wings Hauser and Radha Mitchell are both awesome), and special effects, the movie actually has a message. Pitch Black is not just a story of survival hard-won by a badass criminal. It’s a story of personal redemption.
Rating: MMMMM

Boiler Room
Vin has a supporting role in this Giovanni Ribisi vehicle about fraudulent stock traders, but his personality just jumps off the screen in every scene he’s in. Guys, it’s worth watching for the hot cars. Ladies, it’s worth watching because Vin flashes that melt-your-panties smile of his throughout the movie.
MMM

Fast and Furious
No one plays the bad boy with the bulging biceps and a good heart as well as Vin Diesel. Again, he’s in a supporting role but when this film first came out it was pretty much universally agreed by critics and fans alike that Vin OWNED this movie. All you really need to know about the plot is that it involves fast cars, spectacular chase scenes and a great get-away by Diesel’s not-so-bad badass character.
MMM

The Iron Giant
What’s that? You didn’t know Diesel had a role in this sweet children’s film about a young boy who befriends an extra-terrestrial robot stranded on Earth? Yes, it’s an animated movie for kids, but it’s got an exciting story and a great message. AND it’s got Vin as the voice of the robot. This one makes my list because it proves Vin’s acting prowess. He carries the store and imbues his character with life using his voice alone –without the power of his sexy smile and great bod.
MMMM

And NO, I did not forget XXX. It doesn’t qualify for my list of great Vin vehicles because it’s missing an essential element of Diesel’s best roles – deep development of a flawed character who ultimately turns out to be more noble than he thought he could be.

Many thanks to the Super Mommy for the above reviews! Once again, she helps keep this blog afloat!